just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
