turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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