what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
