I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
