what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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