and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I think people are normalizing furries
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
