I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
