That's when you crack a 10am beer
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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