girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
