I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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