i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
