Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
