Taylor Swift is so right about you.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm determined to sit on that face.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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