p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
