i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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