Walk of Shame. In a state park.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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