I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
