My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
