your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
