Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
