My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
It's just like the Real World with babies
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
