You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
