just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
