I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
