haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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