I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
What happened to fro yo and sex?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
