Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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