This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Randomize
