Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
