Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Randomize
