Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
