Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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