her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
