we have officially lost it.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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