PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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