I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize