Apparently you make a good broom.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
