I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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