please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
