9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
