i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
