if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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