Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize