I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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