I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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