i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
They have beer where we have blood.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
