ya dads aren't the best wingmen
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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