Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
