Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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