dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
