Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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