My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We left the knife in your bed.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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