That's intense
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
