I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize