Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
