it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
