Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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