stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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