Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize