there's paper in my vomit.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
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